He Is an ARTIST

Terik is an Artist. An amazing Artist! Everything he touched became more beautiful and more amazing because he had had a hand in it.  He had an awesome ability to make things more lovely,  exceptional, lifting. He had this gift not just with his pen or with his paintbrush or with his fingers as they raced across the piano keys, but also with his words and his kindness and his love for others. He would mold others in his hands as he  helped us to feel and see of the beauty and goodness within ourselves.  Things we may not have even known that were there.   We often did not even recognize what he was doing, but later as we left him we would feel happier lighter  and more at peace with ourselves.

Terik's Art 2015

This is not to take away from the beauty of his artwork or the amazing pianist he was, as the music of his heart would come to life as he became one with it. It only enhances the lovely gift he has within himself as an Artist. I chose this background for Terik's Blog, a picture of his hand with a pen drawing a tree (which is one of the things he loved to draw the most), because it shows the artist within him to add beauty to this world. As I try to think of his life and what it meant to me. What does it mean to have known Terik?  This is the one thing that stands out above all else to me, that he is an artist. An artist by hand, an artist by mind, an artist of emotion, an artist in every aspect of the word. Thank you Terik for coming to earth and touching our lives with the beauty of your Art, the beauty of your soul!

A dream

I had a dream last night. Terik was outside mowing the lawn. I was watching him from the kitchen window.  He was doing an awesome job, as he always did,  he would always try to do his very best with anything he was doing.  A few minutes later he came in and we started talking.  It was so nice to look at him,  sit by him,  hold his hand and just talk.  All of a sudden I realized he was not suppose to be there.  He was dead.  I told him so and he said "no mom, I didn't die". I told him "yes you did sweetie".  He replied "no I got out just in time,  I was trying to get my ball but i couldn't reach it so i jumped out of the way, i do remember feeling a little pain in my leg but it's okay now." I then saw myself looking at the track where he had died and I saw a soccer ball down between the slats of the railroad tracks.  I was sad still but i was relieved by the fact that he didn't really want to die. .. he just wanted his ball.  Somehow this helped me feel better.  I then was back to my living room talking with him and watching him interact with his siblings.  I told him how much I loved him and wished he could always stay with us.  He told me he would be there even if we couldn't always see him. 

4 year old Terik helping Daddy mow the Lawn.

 I was so grateful to wake up this morning with peace and love in my heart. Even though I miss him terribly, it brought me peace just to be able to see him in my dream.  I tried to relax and fall asleep, so that hopefully I would be able to go back into my dream again. You know how you don't want some dreams to end? So you are able to think about it a little bit and fall back asleep with the same dream? I of course did not want this dream to end but unfortunately I was not able to return to the dream.

I wonder if this dream had a real meaning? I wonder if he was trying to tell me that he didn't really want to die, he was just looking for joy (representing the ball). I know he was in so much pain and I know he found peace after this life but he wishes he wasn't dead. He wishes he could be with us again. Not at the sacrifice of taking up that sick body again though.  He didn't mean to hurt us and he actually didn't even mean to die, he was just trying to stop the pain. Whether it is true or not, it brings me comfort to think that he is at peace and happy now! May you rest in peace, my precious boy, and feel of our love for you reaching up to Heaven. 

The Funeral

Trying to say Good Bye 

Today we laid to rest the physical shell of my beautiful boy. I felt an enormous amount of support and love from our family and friends. The music lifted our hearts as we sang "A child's Prayer", "Lead Kindly Light", "I stand all Amazed", "Sunshine in my Soul today", and "Christ's light". Terik Loved music and I believe he cried and smiled down from Heaven as he heard the beauty and love of so many of his friends and family members singing songs of Love in remembrance of him. I know he was there as Troy and I spoke. We felt like we needed to stand and pay tribute to Terik, no matter how hard it was, for the remarkable young man he was and the amazing life he lived for the 17 1/2 years we were all blessed to have with him. I know as we said our final goodbyes and told all those within the sound of our voice, about our admiration and love for him, that he was close by listening with awe as he finally saw what all of us could see all along. He was (and still is) AMAZING!!! We wanted everyone to leave his funeral remembering the life he lived. We didn't want anyone to define him by the last few minutes of his life or the way he ended it. We released over a hundred balloons into the cold blue skies, which only minutes before had been pouring down a blizzard of snow.

A Rainbow of Balloons

Terik Loved the snow. One of his favorite things was to watch a fresh fallen snow from the window, sitting by the fire wrapped up in a warm blanket, and sipping a cup of hot cocoa. He had prayed for Snow this last Christmas. We had not had any good snow storms so far in the year and no snow on the ground. Snow was not forecasted for the week of Christmas. But Christmas Eve night it snowed all evening and we woke up to a beautiful blanket of snow. He knew that God had heard his prayer.


When it was snowing a strong blizzard outside the morning of his funeral I had no doubt that it was Terik's way of saying, "I'm here and I wanted you to know it! I love you Mom, Dad, Family, and all my friends". Everyone who really knew him knew that this would have been the perfect day for his funeral. A blanket of snow covering the ground, then beautiful sunshiny skies to follow. The only thing even more perfect would have been a double rainbow. But we will count our balloons as that double rainbow. We love you Terik and we are so grateful we got to remember you with honor  today and thank you for the life you led and the Joy we received by knowing you.

Christmas Day 2014 "Fresh Fallen Snow"